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Monthly Archives: December 2011

I hate when my past won’t stop following me.

I hate when my past won’t stop following me.

I used to forget about my bad experiences, i usually have a realy big capacity to start over, but lately i get into a realy bad situation it seams that i’m stuck in my past ,lately there is some people who don’t want to forget about me and when i see them or listen about them it look like all my past gathered together with all it bad times and it stand in front of me .The problem is these person don’t want to let me go don’t want to give me a fresh start i realy don’t know how to get over them ,i don’t know how to convince them to live me alone , i can’t stop also thinking about them about the danger they represent in my life and all the bad things they could do to me,the influence that they have on my future, i feel afraid , and i can’t move on .I never was like that usually i have a free soul and i can put bad thing behind me and go on this time i don’t know what to do .

I don’t know if there is people who had the same experience as me , i don’t know how did they get over this problem . In the past i was thinking that i’m realy strong i never thought that one day i will be followed with some kind of pursuer, oh god i need a new start i want forget all of this .

you Judged the wrong person

There is a comment that i have heard a lot of time in my life ,” you are not looking at people by the way they are ,you construct images of people and you deal with people according to these images” or an other comment like “you react like you have a tee-shirt and you make people were this tee-shirt if it’s good on them so they are good if it’s not then they are bad ”
I can tell to these people who tell me this , actualy i’m not judging people and i don’t imagine them , actually by saing such stuff you are the one who judged me , but what i’m doing is dealing with people in front of me according to there deeds, and according to what i feel and the most important is what i feel .how could someone make me feel bad about myself or about the world and after that he come and he said you are bad you judged me as bad person but in the reality i’m a good , how he want me to see it if he already does hurt me how can i understand him or put myself in his place ? I can’t when i’m hurt.

And about images tell me who does not deal with images ha?

every one in this life deal with images and you know what ? Actualy these images about you ,  you made them not me or anyone else , i think every body     in this life deal with other according to the things that they have show , there sayings and deeds,that what make images so you can’t give me a negative message and you waiting from me to deal wit it positively,  and before you come and judge me or give me your precious vision about me go and look at yourself to the mirror and if you still think that you are a good person so act like one to make people see you by the way you are.

Hope and reality

I’m a realistic person by a way that sometimes my mother and my friends think that i’m pessimist but for me it not this way the fact that i have passed through some littel experiences in wich i was faced directly the reality make me like that .Sometimes they tell me also that the reality have a good face too i didn’t say not i didn’t denied this but for me looking to the actual circumstances and calculating probability is my way to predict how it will be my life or someone elses life or even nations lives, all with keeping hope but hope for me is not a strong prop to base in it still a hope it could happen as well as it couldn’t.
I think analysing our lifes knowing where are we and where we want to go basing to the real existing conditions , knowing the most probable problem and obstacles we will face and have some good tools to face them or unless be ready to face it it’s a better way to not be disappointed.
since i was younger, marriage is one of most popular subject to be a source of misunderstanding between me and my mother .
When it’s come to love and marriage and stuff like that she always have hope that i wil get someone with high characteristic ( good study , nice familly , easy way of life good money and nice character) for me things doesn’t go this way , i always look to my situation a man by a characteristic like i want does not exist in my nearby , i’m from the average layer and i’m average in every things also ( my beauty , my studdy, my money ,my knowlege …) and i meet people in my level or less than mine this is way my opportunity to get someone like mum dreaming about it’s sort of impossible but we keping hope anyway . For me if i want to meet people from the next level i should move on on the next level i should be better than what i’m now to meet better person and i want to get easely and step by step to improve myself as a person so this way i will move on to the next level naturally without pretending to be someone else or adopting some peoples attitudes .I know where i’m and what i want to be the surprises are always exist i don’t know during my attempts to be better or moving to the next level how things will turn on maybe i will be out of the trajectory and i will be someone else different than what i was in the beggining   and also diffrent than what i wanted to be.

Human being is human being

Human being is human being

wherever and whenever he live .I did learn that when i started getting friends from all over the world , sharing with then experiences and attitudes .I discovered that in reality what we have in comin is bigger than what make us different , and what’s unite us is bigger than what devide us.
What unite us is the human nature, is the way that we feel. It’s great that whatever was your language or your tradition or your religion belive that there is someone else somewhere in this world feel the samee way as you do .We all feel love the same way and we all feel pain for the same reason.
It was great for me to discover that me in Tunisia and my friend in china we lived almost the same experience in love nd in life we learned after all the same lesson and we come out with same wisdom.It was great for me to discover that dispite the distance and dispite all our differences but our people have the same proverbs.After all we all came from the same place and our creator is one , all our religions come from the same sources so don’t belive that we are such different and don’t let the concentration on those fake differences make you forget that the most important thing is human being he is just the same as you , we came from the same place and we will return to it . these differences are made by people and after that it became an industry encouraged by governments to make money from it and to lead easily there people.

individual value

Every international great experiences start as an individual experience , of unless this is my own observation .

Dispite that this world is peopled by over 5 millions persons , only few ones make the difference and make it even better or worst place it depend .
I belive in the value of the individu, i think the most the person is independant and valued the most his society grow and develop .
More the idea of importance of family and society opinion is overvalued more this society limit creativity of his individu and his value.

In arab society for example it started by a good idea of supporting each other in the society , and valued familly , respect our parent, neighbor but by the time it became a disaster because familly and society became overvalued than a person , so the children became a continuation to there parents , and to be a good person you have to follow all rules of society and you don’t even dream to be different .Here familly became an obstacle i front of diversity and creativity . This how it was during generation and generation in arabic society , now the new generation became out of controle with this opening to the other and the interactive cultural change every body have a new vision about life , these creat diversity and creativity wich is an important tool to developpement .
We still in a phase of transition , we are moving from a collective thinking , collective living , to the individual exemple
wich i think that it’s a good in condition that it doesn’t turn to selfishness .
This translation is creatin rupture between generation and a lost of our den and old bases that make also so much trouble and rupture in the consistency of the society, because people can not find this base of definition already prepared they come with different definitions and different visions to life , and here it come the rule of capacity of understanding each other the capacity and the desire in living with each other .With all these problem of the individual example , it will be so great and creative if we find someway to reunite people dispite all there differences, i think here it’s the role of patriotism, religion and the principles of citizenship in one word politic …

hard to descover me !!!!!

Did you wonder sometimes who really i’m ? i mean yes i think that every body has passed through moment of doubt , moment to ask we were all looking for ourselves and for who truly we are in one moment or in an other in our lives .

For me ,I had some moment that i was really lost i didn’t know what exactly i want i didn’t know who exactly i was .For a realy long time i did what it’s supposed to be done and in a lot of cases i wasn’t happy about me and i hated me just because there is someone around tell me that what i’m doing is wrong or is not good enough. These moment was really bad and i felt really lost , but do you know what it’s harder then those past moment , what i’m feeling now is harder , since the beginning of this year I started a serie of new experiences and then i start discovering myself .I start defined what i want i accept myself the way i’m i felt even proud of my mistakes until this part every thing was great and i’m happy to  had the opportunity to feel that way about me once , but what make thing realy hard is that in this stage i ‘m discovering that i’m not the person who i always thought that i’m  In my latest experiences and contact with people i discovered unfortunatly that i’m a selfish person ,i don’t have so much ethic and i’m really bad , it’s hard to discover how bad are you , I discovered also some other things about me that i never was there for somebody i never supported people who was always there for me ,and i’m breaking trust of  people who trusting me .It’s hard to me to make that confession, and i’m feeling really bad of myself and i know that this time i should hate me .

Maybe it’s wrong to write this in public , but i feel upsad , sad, angry , and i don’t know what to do i think maybe i should get some help but from who?? I don’t even think that i have courage to ask for this help , i don’t know what to do but i realy want to change I need new chance but do i deserve it ? Have i enough well and enough courage to face the reality and to change it ? I don’t know …Maybe next days will show me how things will be .I wish things go better , despite that i wish it before and it was good but i ruin it i hope this time do the  right thing of corse if i get this second chance .

Pain

sometimes you realise that you are losing people around you , just because you had been so selfish and you looked at things just from your own point of view some times it became problem when you can not put yourself in the place at the place of the person in front of you it became a problem when comunication just cut and you can only hear the voice in your head that way you can lose people could be good , and you lose an opportunity to a great experience

But we can’t blame ourselves for that because in all cases it always pain who make us incapable to communicate, we can’t say that we are selfish persons we can only say that we are hurted persons and we have all the right to be in grave we have the right to feel sad . i think that we should take our time to feel that sadness but to be careful to don’t let it ruin our lives , we have the right to don’t push ourselves into relationship or situation could be much more harmful for us just because we are afraid to lose people  around us again , just try to be sure to deal fairly with good person in your life and don’t push them away and don’t put your anger on them .because not every people are bad , just be sure to give youself some new opportunity.