The moment when you lose self-confidence

That moment when you lose your confidence about something that you love.
For me those moment are really hard and I cannot know how to overcome them sometimes.
Those moments start when you discover how bad you are about something you used to think that you made an achievement on it.

Like my case in English, and here is the story.
Maybe some of you are sharing the same feeling with me.
When we started learning English in the Middle School, I wasn’t good at it, well, I had good marks, but I can’t speak it (because us you know it’s not enough to have a good mark on something, that does not prove that you really understand it, especially with our education system based on memorization).

The basic cause that made me bad at it, is that I could not accept the culture of this language. And this was not my own opinion, but I was influenced by my mothers’ stand against America and foreign culture in general.She believes so much in Arabic, and that the Arab language is the best basing on her religious conviction that Islam is the right religion and all people who goes to heaven will speak Arabic.

Anyway, I passed a long period in my life on this opinion and I did not try to discover those foreign cultures. Until one day I was with my cousins and they were talking about foreign TV programs and songs, I couldn’t understand what they are talking about, and I felt so ignorant. from there I decided to learn more and work more to improve my level in languages basically fresh and English, and I start a little Italian too.

Well, I have to be honest, I still have a lot of problems with french because I couldn’t like their culture so I couldn’t improve in the language.
But the story is different with English I started following American films, TV show, read articles and listen to music, I liked the American living style, and I even dreamed about moving on there (unfortunately I never get the chance to visit America).

I improved and I was proud because I did not win this skill from school, but I worked on it by myself.
But a little time ago, I discovered how much wrong, I‘m concerned my English level.
I discovered that I do enormous mistake, especially on grammar and spelling and that my vocabulary still weak.
Since that time and I feel bad also not confident, and I remark that I even start avoiding to answer some questions about the meaning of some world, and start to doubt everything, every English word I use or I write.

This feeling is really destructive, I know that the solution is in the hard work I have to work more to improve more, getting depressed about such a situation will not solve it, it will make it worst.

But it’s really sad, and overwhelming feeling, hard to overcome.
Anyway, I will not quit, and I will try harder no matter how bad I feel.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s