connection

when i was a teenager , i used to be lonely , and i was perfectly dealing with that ,
actually i used to be disconnected from my reality and the whole society around me ,
in the same time i used to have a strong imagination and a strong energy coming from inside , i used to dream my eyes open, when i feel alone i used to close my eyes , to take a very deep breath and to send all my inner energy out to the universe and with my exhalation of air i send a strong message to someone that i don’t know , i just sprayed this energy to the universe saying i love you and i know that there is some one that i’m not physically connected to him and maybe that i will never meet and he could be in the other side of the world but i know that he love me back .
now i know that that was just a teenage dreams , and some kind of illusion , in the same time i miss that strength , that energy and that hope to love and to be loved , that feeling of connection to unseeing force .
When i started doing astronomy i used to feel other kind of connection to the universe , i used to feel a part of something bigger than what we see i used to think about energy frequency and vibration , but now i just lost this connection too .
right now i’m disconected form evry thing , and i miss those beautiful feelings and inspiration , i’m just empty .

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