Emptiness

Almost a year ago i was alone , i was sad i was empty and i wanted to die , and i tried it .
To be honest that was a good feeling waiting to death , i passed a weekend thinking that i was poisoned and my end will come soon , by that time i had few books that i was thinking that it will be a lost that i didn’t read them before i go .
My plan didn’t work and i didn’t die , i have to be honest that things since that time get much more better , but since a week now the same emptiness come back inside me the same sadness , and my want of death return strongly , i’m actually missing the feeling of decide to die and wait for death . there is no reason in my actual life that push me to think about death and i have no problem i just miss the feeling , and i just feel empty again , and just one idea controle over my head which is : this is one more winter, that i will be alone tired and cold again , and i think that the more things change the more they stay the same .
i just feel so empty .

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