I have decided since a while to not talk negatively about my feelings ,and about the experiment that i get, espécially love experiences , but some times you find that things are just imposed to you , and it’s not your choice to thing this way .
Well let me say that i’m a girl who have no chance in love , despite that i’m trying to be a very good person , but this doesn’t mean any thing , many bi**h are having good life there , I definitly know that luck and love are not things depending on your personality or something , not your beautiful smile , or special laugh , or tender sight will help you , at least that doesn’t work for me , every body love a lot of thing about me but when it come to lovers all of this doesn’t count and i don’t know why ? is it me the one who act badly , or is it just my bad luck ?
It’s supposed that i get used to the bad luck in love, why this time i believed that it could be different ?, why i allowed myself to dream ?, why i thought that could be possible for me ?
I’m so stupid because i believed that this time could be different and he could be a different man from all that i had known before , yeah he is a different man because he is so strong, so selfish , he love his life more than anything , he don’t have mercy and i should not tell him how i feel , because simply he don’t even care and i don’t mean any thing to him , why should i be ? if i do mean anything for him than he should be interested to know how i feel and to respect it . Also i know what he want. He want a happy girl who laugh with him and smile to him and don’t disturb his life , a one who don’t ask so much , a one who don’t change anything in his plan , he absolutely don’t need one girl who feel mesirable in love and who ask for so much attention.
Anyway this is simply a message for me, I’m not blaming anyone .
It’s just my fault because i believed that dreams are allowed for me and love is allowed for me , when apparently it’s not , i don’t know when exactly i will understand that message that life try to send it to me , I really tryed to stand up to feel different to controle my feeling to do exercices about how to think positively , well maybe i should try again , maybe i should not let this sad feeling controle me .
I don’t know , i should also be prepared to be dumped in every moment in my life because this is so me , i should be strong independent , and what ever love go good or bad i should just go one with my life maybe i can succeed at something else .
I hope people read this have better chance than I ❤